What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Why is Elon Musk so ugly?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

What are some photos of female sexual organs?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

What’s a mistake most guys make when trying to get a girlfriend?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Why do unattractive men assume that a pretty woman like me want them?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Make Nazis afraid again!

Can Donald Trump use the Alien Friends Act of 1798 to give ALL illegal immigrants an ultimatum: You have 1 month to leave America, after which you will be arrested and jailed for 3 years?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Why do very skinny girls get more male attention if it is true that men like curves?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

TEXT:

Which fish tastes good for South Indian curries?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Did you ever receive genuine remarks from a medium regarding your deceased relative with information that the medium could never normally know?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

What is so great about Jiraiya?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

How is it, in the USA, a country with 334 million people, the choice of President comes down to two aged men, one of whom is a liar as well as a criminal, one who appears to be on his way to dementia. Surely a democratic country can put up better?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

How would you describe modern day Russian society, beyond just politics?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.